This special needs Reuben has pickled beet juice seitan!

According to Wikipedia, “The Reuben sandwich is a hot sandwich of corned beef, Swiss cheese, with Russian or Thousand Island dressing, and sauerkraut. These are grilled between slices of rye bread.” Well fuck you, Wikipedia*, cause there are vegan Reubens, and our Reubens are better than your Reubens! Here in LA, you can order them all over the place from Follow Your Heart Cafe** to Locali to Native Foods to Flore to Golden Mean to Real Food Daily. But, maybe, just maybe, you live somewhere else?  Somewhere where there doesn’t happen to be a plethora of slammies (slammin’ sammies, a term courtesy the fine folks of Food For Lovers).

Well here’s how I make ‘em– it’s easy, I swear on Wikipedia that you can do it, too:

1. Make some cashew cheese. My recipe is HERE. Make it ahead of time, like day-ahead cause it it gets better once it’s been fully fridged. Disclaimer: this does not taste even a little bit like Swiss cheese, but it is darned delicious. You will want some in your fridge, always.

2. Make some One Thousand Island Dressing. Maybe even 1,001. This is simple: get a bowl. In that bowl put:

• 1 TBSP Vegenaise or vegan mayo of your choice
• 1 TBSP ketchup
• 1 TBSP relish

In other words, equal amounts of the three ingredients, then STIR until it’s well combined. You can do more or less of one ingredient if you prefer it that way. There is no way you can eff this up (that was not a challenge).

This special needs Reuben has veggie pâté!

3. Choose your “meat.” I have tried everything (I’ve made a lot of vegan Reubens) and it’s always good. You can use deli slices, like Tofurky or Yves, you can slice up hot dogs or sausages, you can get seitan, you can even buy vegan corned beef or pastrami! My favorite is to make my own seitan from scratch, slice it thin and pickle it in beet juice for a couple days so that it is a nice red color and flavor (Seriously, there was a year where I pretty much made one for lunch every single day. It was some kind of ’tism, I think). Today, I used veggie pate that I made (want that recipe? Just ask!). If you want to, you could buy your favorite pre-made meat simulacrum and then pickle it in beet juice, but that would also need to be done ahead of time.

4. Choose your bread. Obviously, rye is traditional. I hate rye and I have trouble understanding how anyone with taste buds likes it, so I usually use sourdough or a nice whole wheat sourdough.

5. Sauerkraut. You need some. And however much you think you need, add a little more.

6. Margarine. I like Earth Balance, but whatever you pick, I approve.

7. A cast iron griddle like this one, or if you don’t have one or want one, a frying pan will do. For extra credit, a grill press makes things extra everything. Actually, now that I reminisce about my Year of Reubens, I made almost all of them in a George Foreman Grill, so you could use that or a panini press, too.

Once you have gathered your supplies it’s time to create!

• Put your griddle pan (I use the flat side, not the ridged side) on the stove and turn it on– to about the 4 mark. That’s medium, to you. Put your griddle press on top of the griddle so it warms up, too.
• Margarine-up one side of both slices of bread. Just a thin coating, no need to bathe it, but this step is crucial, don’t skip it, and if you do skip it, don’t be mad at me when your sammie sucks. Once it’s done, put the marg’d-up side DOWN– these are the outsides of your sandwich, i.e. the sides you touch when you hold it whilst eating.
• On one piece of bread, on the DRY side (not margarine’d), slather on some 1,001 dressing.
• On the other piece of bread, on the DRY side (not margarine’d) slather on some cashew cheese.
• Add some sauerkraut on top of the cashew cheese. Squeeze as much liquid out as you can though, before you place it.
• Add your “meat” on top of the 1,001.
• Put each piece on the hot griddle, no need to combine them yet. Let it cook for a few minutes (5ish), or until the bottom of the bread gets nice and toasty. Do not let it burn!
• Using a spatula, place the cheesy/sauerkraut toast on top of the 1,001/meaty toast. Just take a deep breath and flip it over quickly, don’t worry, it’ll be fine.
• Put the grill press on that sucker and let it work its magic. If your dressing goes from 1,001 to 980, do not worry, just slide your sandwich around and let the fallen islands absorb into your bread. If you don’t have a grill press just push down a li’l with your spatula. Just a minute or two more, or until you just can’t wait any longer, and voila! Reuben!

Please do let me know in the comments if you try it, or if you have a less Ikea instructioney way to Reuben up your vegan life.

*That was just for effect. I love you, Wikipedia.

**Hot Tip: If you order the vegan Reuben at Follow Your Heart Cafe, but ask for it on bread other than rye, which I’d like to remind you is disgusting,  you will actually get TWO sandwiches for some wonderful reason I can not explain.

This was originally published on SuperVegan!

Food always tastes better when someone else makes it … except today. I made a salad of such epic proportions that it is now regarded in my household as The Best Salad Ever Eaten. For full disclosure, it took awhile, but only because of all the components– none of which are particularly difficult. It’s got spinach, avocado, spiced roasted golden beets, cashew cheese croutons, coconut bacon, and a vinaigrette dressing. It’s full of Umami and will make you happy, handsome, and another adjective that starts with ‘h’. Try it! It’s better than it looks, promise.

CASHEW CHEESE

First, make the cashew cheese, a day before even, as it gets better once it’s been fully fridged.

In a Vitamix or food processor mix the following ingredients (liquids first!) together until smooth and creamy:

1/4 Cup olive oil
1/4 Cup lemon juice
1 TBSP soy sauce/Braggs
1/2 Cup water
1/4 Cup sesame seeds
2/3 Cup nutritional yeast
1 1/2 Cup cashews (I like salted, some people like raw)
1 1/2 tsp ground flax seeds
1 1/2 tsp turmeric
1 1/2 tsp garlic powder
pepper (I put in about 3 or 4 dashes)

Spatula it all into a sealable container and shove it in the fridge overnight!

COCONUT BACON

This can also be made ahead of time, but it’s so good it might not last till salad time!
Turn your oven on to 350 degrees.

In a mixing bowl stir together:

4 TBSP soy sauce
2 TBSP maple syrup
1 TBSP liquid smoke
1 TBSP nutritional yeast

Add 2 cups of large unsweetened coconut flakes and stir until all the flakes are well sauced.

Spread the mixture into a baking dish (one with sides is best so the liquid doesn’t drip into your oven and make a smokey mess) and bake for 10 minutes. Don’t go far, this stuff can burn in an instant. After 10 minutes, stir it up and bake for 3 minute intervals until the bacon gets slightly crispy and darkens a bit. Be vigilant! It shouldn’t take more than 20 minutes total. Take it out and let it cool, that’s when the real magic happens. It crisps up and gets hit with the delicious stick (which is invisible).

SPICED ROASTED GOLDEN BEETS

Turn your oven up to 400 degrees.

Wash, trim and chop 3 large golden beets into bite size chunks. You can peel them if the skin is hairy or gross.

Put the chunks in a big baggie and add:

1/2 tsp curry powder
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp salt
1-2 TBSP coconut oil

Seal the bag and shake it up really well, until all the beets are evenly coated. Pour the beets onto a baking dish — sides are still good though, so the oily goodness doesn’t drip down and create toxic smoke.

Roast for 30 – 40 minutes, or until they seem even more golden and done. It’s a good idea to flip them around half way through.

DRESSING

In a small bowl whisk together:

2 TBSP red wine vinegar
1 TBSP olive oil
4-5 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp lemon or lime juice
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

Voila! Dressing! (This dressing is really good on lentils, too.)

You’re almost done! Just a few more steps before you feast:

- Toast a piece of your favorite bread. Get it really crispy and then let it cool. Once it has, spread a generous amount of the cashew cheese on it and cut into croutons.

- Prepare one bunch of fresh spinach. Rinse the leaves well, trim the stems, dump it in a salad spinner and dry it.

- Cut up a ripe avocado. Don’t skip this step, avocado is what I call The Money Food — it adds infinite deliciousness.

- Put all the spinach in a large salad serving bowl. Add the avocado, the roasted beets, some coconut bacon (1/2 cupish) and just a wee bit of the salad dressing. You really don’t need too much, and can always add more. The reverse does not hold true. Toss, add the croutons, get a fork, and eat! Hope your mouth likes it as much as ours did.

Got an even better salad? Let me know in the comments!

This was originally posted on SuperVegan!

If you like things that taste really really really good, then make this!

Special Needs Quiche

Here’s how! You’ll need:

INGREDIENTS

1 (9 inch) unbaked Vegan pie crust
1 bunch of broccoli, chopped
some sliced mushrooms (I used 1/2 a carton of baby bellas)
1 Gardein Breakfast Patty, crumbled
1 Tablespoon olive oil
1 onion, finely chopped
5 or 6 cloves of garlic, minced
1 brick of extra firm tofu, drained
1/2 cup “freaky milk” i.e. the non-milk milk of your choice
1/4 heaping teaspoon Dijon mustard
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4- 1/2 teaspoon red pepper (adjust to spice wimpyness)
black pepper to taste
1 tablespoon dried parsley
2 tablespoons nutritional yeast
1/2 teaspoon turmeric

Then do this:

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 Degrees C). Bake pie crust in preheated oven for 10 – 12 minutes.

2. Place broccoli in a steamer over 1 inch of boiling water, and cover. Cook until tender but still firm, about 2 – 6 minutes. Drain.

3. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Saute onion and carlic until golden. Add breakfast patty and mushrooms and saute until the mushrooms start to sweat. Add the broccoli stir together and set aside.

4. In a blender combine freaky milk, mustard, salt, nutmeg, red pepper, black pepper, parsley, nutritional yeast, turmeric, and tofu; process until smooth. Add it to the skillet and combine with the broccoli mixture. Pour into pie crust.

5. Bake in preheated oven for 40 minutes or until quiche is set and the top is a nice golden brown. Snack on something else in the meantime.

6. Dig deep and find a little more self-control and patience and allow to stand for 5 minutes before cutting.

6.5. Try not to eat the whole thing in one sitting.

Originally published on SuperVegan!